


I Spend Too Much Time in My Room

by Geek_and_Nina



Series: Shuffle Challenge [18]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/F, Modern Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 11:34:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21319516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geek_and_Nina/pseuds/Geek_and_Nina
Summary: based on the song by The Band CAMINO
Relationships: Faith Lehane/Buffy Summers
Series: Shuffle Challenge [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1179917
Kudos: 8





	I Spend Too Much Time in My Room

-I Spend Too Much Time in My Room-

Faith Lehane stared up at the walls, the ceiling, the insides of her eyelids, and then out at the walls again. Her mind was roiling with heightened Slayer emotions: guilt, anger, fear, and sadness. All pent up in her chest with nowhere to go. Faith had spent the past three days locked up in the room she’d claimed for herself in Buffy’s house and didn’t come out no matter how much the various members of Buffy’s collection of misfits banged on the door. Faith hated the walls of this stupid bedroom.

Feeling suddenly reckless and full of pent up energy; Faith needed to do something, anything but didn’t want to face Buffy and her friends. At one point… she had considered them her friends as well. Faith put her earbuds in and cranked the music to top-level; hoping to block out even her own thoughts for a while. Faith changed her clothes, washed her face, and tied her hair back into a ponytail. She rushed through the hall, down the stairs and out of the door without responding to anyone. Faith only made one brief stop to lift Giles’ wallet.

-I Spend Too Much Time on My Phone-

Faith stared at her phone the whole way down the street and through the store. Mass consumption of memes and junk from the internet has a mind-numbing effect she often took advantage of. Despite her many protests and her attempts to come across as unflappable, Faith still cared incredibly deeply about what Buffy thought of her. She had since the two of them first met. No matter how hard she tried, Faith couldn’t get the other, blonder Slayer out of her head.

When Faith went out on patrol, she remembered surprising Buffy and their brief sparring match. Faith remembered how kind and considerate Buffy’s mother had been. She had been so jealous. Her own family had never treated her that way… especially after having become the slayer. Buffy had the dream; a mom who loved her unconditionally, a little sister who idolized her, and a friend group that had her back no matter what.

-My Mom Don’t Like My Tattoos-

Faith would never forget the way her own mother had reacted when she came home with the barbed wire tattoo around her arm. Faith herself hadn’t been too impressed with it. After having it done, she had expected something inside of herself to change along with the physical, permanent addition to her body. Faith’s mother had screamed and cried when she came home, the bandage still taped around the irritated area. She stood tall in response, refused to be cowed, and acted as though it were the best thing she had ever done.

Faith was the talk of the school the next day. With her multitude of piercings and her tattoo, no one messed with her anymore. They had no idea of her capabilities as a Slayer, the super-strength and enhanced agility, but her insides better matched her outsides now. For the first time in her sixteen years… Faith felt cool. It didn’t last for very long.

-I Spend Too Much Time In My Head-

Faith made her way up the stairs with her bags of paint, brushes, blue tape, and tarps; pretending not to notice that half of the Scooby Gag was following along behind her. She still didn’t feel like talking much, but passed out the rolls of tape and gestured for everyone to start working. Her headphones were still in, but she appreciated the company nonetheless.

The work helped Faith to finally stop living only in her own head. Her body began to slowly feel like a part of her again. She couldn’t bring herself to tell the others what was going on with her, yet, but when Kennedy offered her a Bluetooth speaker, Faith pulled out her earbuds and connected her phone to it. Kennedy smiled and seemed proud of herself. Willow patted Faith’s shoulder as she passed by and Buffy danced as she finished taping along the bedroom window.

Faith worked hard not to allow the memories dancing with Buffy at The Bronze to pull her back into her own head. It was equally hard to not get distracted by the smooth movements of the other Slayer’s hips out of the corner of her eye. “I’m going for a smoke break, be right back.” she said in a more flippant tone than she was actually feeling at the moment.

“It’s that time for me too. I’ll join you.” Kennedy replied and Tara wordlessly joined them as well. Faith rolled her eyes dramatically but didn’t protest.

Faith leaned back against the wall of the house and lit her cigarette. She held out her lighter to Kennedy as well. What Kennedy was smoking was definitely _not_ a regular cigarette. “Ohhh, you have been _holding_ out on me!” Faith lit the blunt and took a drag off of her cigarette, then trade with Kennedy and took a drag off of the joint.

“You’ve just changed so much over this past year. I barely recognize you anymore. You’re doing so well, Faith. We all believe in you.” Tara reached across Kennedy and patted Faith’s arm.

Faith just shrugged her shoulders in response. She didn’t know what the hell to do with that.

-Sometimes I Still Think About You-

Dawn had ordered pizza for dinner and Faith actually managed to make herself head down the stairs to join the group. She really did want to tell them all about how she was feeling and how hard things had been lately. Faith looked across the table at Buffy. She thought about her all the time. Buffy haunted her thoughts, her dreams, and almost all of her most important recent memories.

Faith wished they still talked to one another the way they had once had, but too much had happened between them. There was too much bad blood there. After everything; the fights, followed by the team-ups and more fights, Faith felt as though she had lost a family member or a piece of herself. Buffy gave her a questioning look and Faith only shrugged back.

“From the way you’re all looking at me as though I might break at any moment, I take it I spend too much time in my room.”


End file.
